


Do not...

by The_CLaUD



Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Bad Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Repressed, Gen, Hegemol is there if you squint, Hornet shows up just long enough to merit her own tag, Hurt No Comfort, Loss of Limbs, Memory Magic, Mind Control, POV Third Person Limited, Pre-Canon, Repressed Memories, Sadboi THK speaks directly to my soul, THK is referred to as It/It for most of the fic, THK is repressing an unhealthy amount, They're all mostly only referenced in flashbacks though, White Lady is there if you squint even harder, also it's young hornet, and they say “I am sad”, if you count people treating THK like they’re not a person, mostly from THKs POV, so enjoy babby SHAW, technically, they just need a hug, unless you’re REALLY nit-picky about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_CLaUD/pseuds/The_CLaUD
Summary: Do not think...Do not speak...Do not hope...Do not...The Hollow Knight. The perfect, untarnished vessel to combat the infection. Born of God and Void. Trained to contain, suppress, and perhaps, even defeat the infection at it's source. The day has finally arrived for it to fulfil that purpose, and save Hallownest at last. The infection cannot claim it, for it has no mind to think. The infection cannot stop it, for it has no will to break. The infection cannot tempt it, for it has no voice to cry suffering. This is our final, and perfect solution. For the fate of Hallownest, it cannot fail... It will not fail... It cannot fail...In which The Hollow Knight knows that they are impure, but fights endlessly to repress it, for the good of all Hallownest. Unfortunately, when they finally meet, The Radiance may have a few things to say about that.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Do not...

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was mostly inspired by the theory that the Pure Vessel's dream nail dialogue isn't cut content, but is actually PV fighting so hard to repress their feelings, that you can't even see their thoughts without inspecting the game’s code. That may or may not be true, based on what Team Cherry have said about the dialogue, but the idea really gets me, and I wrote the majority of this fic in my head while thinking about it, so I had to write it down.  
> Anyway, please enjoy!

* * *

Do not think...

* * *

The precession marched silently through the winding, narrow passages of Hallownest. Though the hour was early, The Pale King had deemed an arrival via the Dirtmouth stag station too high-profile a route to their destination. So they marched, stoic and poised, up through the least traveled routes of the crossroads, towards The Black Egg.

A pair of Kingsmoulds led them, shooing any stray bugs along their path, and keeping watch for the infected. Behind them strode The Pale King, swathed in heavy dark robes that muted his resplendent aura. Still, his exposed face was more than enough to light their path. Struggling to keep pace at his side was a royal servant, who jumped nervously at every unusual sound they heard. Close at his back, as always, was his pure vessel, The Hollow Knight. It hunched and bent in these low-ceilinged halls, but still it strode, mechanically and without gripe. Another Kingsmould took the rear, watching for any assaults from behind. Not that it was necessary, the Vessel was more than capable of defending the king on its own. Only a mindless infected would even dare attempt an attack on The Hollow Knight. No, the Moulds were there for the return trip. 

At long last, the day was at hand, that The Hollow Knight would finally put all those hours, those days, those months of training to use. Today it would fulfil its purpose and stop the spread of the infection once and for all. The king had gone to many lengths to make sure this day could come. He’d done many things. But in the end, it’d all paid off.

The Vessel ducked low as it passed through the temple door, and the group approached The Black Egg. It stared blankly into the dark entranceway before them, as the king turned and spoke.

“Vessel. Once thou art bound within the inner chamber, we shall send word to the dreamers to close the seal. When they do, then is the time to confront the infection. Understood?” It nodded once, but otherwise remained unmoving. The king gave the word, and it strode into the darkness.

When at last it reached the center, heavy, enchanted chains shot to the ground, encircling and restraining it. The Vessel did not resist nor even flinch as the chains ensnared it. This was all by design, of course. The chains hoisted it up into the air, and then…

Silence. The air hung still in this place. The Vessel awaited motionlessly for the entrance to be sealed. Patience came easily to it, of course, for it had no mind to bore. Seconds or hours, all were the same to it, as it stared blankly back towards the king and his Moulds standing before the doorway. Perhaps some significant time had passed since the servant bug had rushed out of view on the heels of a Kingsmould, for it saw the king begin to pace nervously outside. It understood this to be something of a habit amongst those creatures that possessed a mind, when things were not proceeding as quickly as they’d like. The Vessel simply waited, the perfect, obedient creation, for the time it could begin the task it was created to achieve.

Finally, there was a glow around the entrance, as a heavy black seal appeared inside the doorway. After a moment, it became solid, and a sound rang out as three seals were emblazoned on its surface. Then it was quiet… it was dark… truly quiet, and truly dark, as the deepest pits of the abyss, as the Vessel turned its head from the entryway to stare into the blackness ahead of it. It drew a silent breath, and began to focus. It focused upon the blight that festered within the kingdom. Calling to it, drawing it in, inviting the source to reveal itself… and then…

* * *

Do not speak...

* * *

Light. A brilliant light enveloped the Vessel. But it was not the familiar white light of The Pale King. This light was different. It was hot and lively, as though it were trying to sear straight through the Vessel’s shell. The light murmured as well, mumbling sweet nothings and wordless promises just on the edge of hearing. It was as if the light wanted something of the Vessel, but it could not understand their words.

It looked around slowly. It was no longer suspended at the heart of a great black egg, it was somewhere else. It sensed this was somewhere very far away... or perhaps, somewhere that didn’t exist at all. But it wasn’t alone. The Hollow Knight drew its nail and stood at the ready as the light grew in intensity, and a figure emerged. Something like an enormous moth formed from the light, and as it encroached, a voice like a song resounded from everywhere at once.

“Well, well,” it cooed, words soaked in a deep and intimate malice, “another of the Wyrm’s little toys, come to inconvenience me again.”

The Vessel lunged towards her, thrusting its nail out, but she was gone before it could reach. There was a sound from behind the Vessel, and it spun on the spot to see a wall of shining white nails sailing through the air towards it. It slid deftly underneath them, before launching into the air as a set of spikes burst from the ground, slashing once at her face before she vanished again.

“Troublesome little thing, aren’t you?” she hissed, hurling a pair of glowing orbs at the Vessel, which it weaved in between effortlessly. There was a flash, as the light all around grew brighter, and the murmuring voices grew louder, but still their words were meaningless, and it faded again. “And resilient, it would seem. So be it, let us see how it deals with this:”

A sheet of blades appeared from above, and the Vessel took up a defensive stance, effortlessly deflecting the blades that rained down upon it. Once, twice, three times it deflected the attack from above, nail held over its head. Only then did it see something coming towards it from the side. A dull, translucent nail, hard to spot against the searing light of this place, was flying towards it. Too late it slid to one side, the strange blade catching its arm and—

—The Hollow Knight stood in the training grounds of the White Palace, looking to the ground. There at its feet, Hegemol lay on his back, disarmed and breathing heavily. It knew this place. It knew this time. It had been here before, in a memory. Its nail came to rest under his chin, poised to deliver a finishing blow.

“That’s enough.” came a voice from behind it. “Stand down.” Without hesitation, the Vessel withdrew its nail, returning the weapon to its back. It stood at attention, returning its gaze straight ahead, staring at a distant wall.

“You’ve improved, little shadow.” Hegemol mused as he sat up into its line of sight, dusting himself off as he rose to his feet. “Why, I remember when you were still small, and you could STILL knock Ogrim clean on his rear! Ha-Hah! I’ll bet you were real proud then, eh?” He and a few of the onlookers laughed at this. The Hollow Knight didn’t move. Pride was a meaningless word to it. There were only things it had done, and things it had not. No accomplishment held some ethereal weight over another. It was more skilled than Ogrim. That was simply a fact. Someone cleared their throat pointedly.

“Please refrain from engaging in pleasantries with it,” Came the voice from behind again, tersely, “It isn’t a bug, nor can it understand them anyway.”

“Erm… yes your majesty. Sorry sir.” Hegemol rubbed the back of his helmet awkwardly, before bowing to his opponent, to signify the end of their duel. The Vessel bowed back, as it had been trained to do.

“Still,” it heard him whisper, “It is an honor to spar with you.”

Honor. Another of those meaningless words. It was here because it was told to be here. It trained because it was told to train. It won because it was made to win. It was simply following orders so it could be prepared to contain the infection. That was all there was.

It stood up and returned to attention once more as—

—it slashed at her again as it came to a halt, before she disappeared once more. She regarded it coldly as she reappeared.

“No pride? No honor? No sense of duty, nor thirst for battle? How disappointing.” She mocked, firing several beams of light at it, which it dashed around almost effortlessly. “But no matter. We’ll find something for you yet, I’m sure.” A wall of light flew toward the Vessel, and it focused, blinking past it before a wall of nails sailed towards it in the opposite direction, which it quickly slipped between, catching her again before she could disappear.

This time it was ready. It saw another strange dull nail appear, and begin to fly towards it as it curved around more glowing orbs. It raised its weapon and swung to deflect the dull blade. But as it swung, the strange nail passed straight through the Vessels own, striking it square between the eyes, sending—

—The small bug vied endlessly for its attention, as it escorted the group through the halls of the palace. Banging her tiny fists against its shins, calling out to it repeatedly, and tugging as roughly as she could on the end of its cape, as if some combination of the three could persuade it to oblige.

“Misterrrr! Hey, mister! You GOTTA tell me where you got such a big nail like that! Come on Mister, please? I thought big brothers helped their little sisters with stuff! And I want a nail like that when I get big! Aren’t you gonna help your little sister out? Pleeeaaase?? Won’t you at least show it to me mister? Mister?? I need to know where-!”

“Hornet.” A woman growled curtly from off to its left. Herrah, presumably. “Leave it alone. It ISN’T your brother. I told you that.” Herrah, at least, was a sensible bug, despite the king's apparent discomfort around her. She was one of the few that understood what it was. Who didn’t attempt to engage in meaningless niceties with it. Though perhaps she was like that with everyone, given how it’d heard her speak to the king.

“It’s fine,” came another voice, the king’s voice, “We don’t particularly need her present for this discussion, do we?”

“No… I suppose not.”

“Excellent; Vessel,” it turned to face its creator, who wasn’t even looking at it as he spoke “indulge the child. Watch her and ensure she does not come to harm until I send for you. I’ll wait for you at our destination when we’re finished.” It nodded once, breaking stride with them, and allowing the little girl to lead it by the hem of its cloak to the first courtyard she could find.

“Show me! Show meee!” she cried the moment she was alone with it, hopping up and down on the spot. The vessel drew its weapon for the child, bringing it to her eye level as she made a noise of excitement.

“Oooh, it’s pretty~” she cooed, reaching out to touch it. It lifted the blade out of her grasp as she did.

“Wha-? Oh come on! I’m not gonna hurt myself with it! I’m a big girl!” It just stared silently at her.

“Fiiine,” she folded her hands behind her back “Look, don’t touch. Got it.” it lowered the blade again for her to see. She stared at it with wonder, carefully inspecting the intricate engravings.

“It’s so fancy. Are these like magic runes? Can your nail do anything special?” It shook its head at her. “Aw, that’s too bad. When I grow up, I’m gonna get a real special nail. One that can do all sorts of things!” she giggled, running into the middle of the courtyard, making all manner of inscrutable sounds and arm movements to ‘demonstrate’ the things her future nail could do. It followed her every move with its gaze, as it had been instructed. Eventually she plopped down in the grass, looking over at it.

“Come!” she said, patting the ground beside her. It approached, and stared down at her. “Sit, silly!” she giggled, patting the ground again.

It sat down stiffly beside the child, all the while keeping its blank stare upon her.

“So, where’d you get that nail of yours from anyway?” It considered how exactly to answer that question, before pointing downwards. “Down below? Yeah, I guess that makes sense. They probably make all sorts of things in a big palace like this, huh?” It nodded. “That wasn’t actually a question dummy!” She punched its arm. It was trained to run a bug through for such an unprovoked assault, if it weren’t already under orders to ensure no harm came to her, so it allowed this. Not like it could feel pain anyway.

“Do you think they’d let me get a nail from the same place you got yours?” It wasn’t sure how to answer that question, so it simply copied something it’d seen bugs do before, and shrugged. She seemed dissatisfied with this answer, but didn’t say anything about it. Instead she just looked around and kicked her legs for a bit. She turned back towards it after a while.

“Mom says the Wyrm is your dad too. Is that really true?” That assertion was accurate enough. It nodded. “But she says you’re not my brother, because you’re not really a bug.” It nodded again. “But you look like a bug... Maybe you’re a bit strange, but you seem just like any other bug to me.” It wasn’t sure if that was meant to be a question or not, so it just shrugged again.

They sat in silence for a little while longer, before a servant bug poked their head out into the courtyard.

“U-um excuse me… His majesty has sent for The Hollow Knight. It is to return to him at once.”

It broke its gaze from her and stood, not hesitating to begin making its way towards the servant, and out of the courtyard.

“Hey mister wait up!” The child cried, scrambling to her feet to keep up with it. “We’ll chat again some time right? Right?” she asked, tugging on its cape again. It didn’t respond, it was no longer under any obligation to—

—skidding backwards. It jabbed its nail into the ground to steady itself, and looked up at her as she continued her assault from above. The wordless voices sounded less like a murmuring now, and more like a chattering. A very displeased chattering.

“Such disregard, even for the life of a child, and not even a modicum of regret?” again spikes burst from the ground around it, and it leapt into the air as yet more blades rained from above.

“Fine then, lets try something a bit stronger.” she sounded far less catty than she had after the first of the strange nails had caught it. But it was wise now, if it wanted to avoid whatever she was doing to it, it’d simply have to be more evasive.

It saw her ready another of the translucent nails, and pretended not to notice as it deflected more of the shining blades she flung at it. It waited until the dull nail was sailing towards it, before dashing back and away. It slashed up at her from below as it passed underneath, when a second of the dull nails caught it from behind in the arm again, as—

—The Vessel strode alongside the White Lady through her gardens. She was perhaps the least sensible of them all. Endlessly she’d repeat herself, “We are it’s mother after all.” she’d say. “Does it know how we care for it?” she’d ask. “It should know that we love it so.” she’d coo.

Love. That was the most meaningless word of them all to it. Her love was naught more than another obstacle in its training. Something to slow its progress, and give the infection even more time. All love may have been meaningless, but her love, even more so. Suddenly she stops, and it stops with her.

“This,” she purrs softly, “This is what it is fighting to protect, all of this around us, is to be lost without it.”

And of course, it already knew that. It was made to protect Hallownest of course, and these walls, this garden, all of it was Hallownest… or perhaps she meant something different.

“All of this beauty, smothered by time, without its intervention. Does it understand this, we wonder?”

And it nods, but of course, it does not truly understand. Beauty. Yet another meaningless word from a senseless root. And she continues her stroll, and it continues alongside her. Until of course she stops again to say more meaningless words, and it nods as though they are wise. And it nods as though this lesson has value. And it nods as though it loves her as its mother.

But her words are pointless. And these lessons are wasteful. And it does not know love. And it—

—Looked down at its arm, and saw that it wasn’t doing well. But her attacks were coming too quick. It didn’t have time to focus. Instead it simply held its arm close, as it lunged towards her, between more orbs and walls of light, catching her before she could disappear again. As it did, those wordless voices grew louder still, and the light all around grew hotter and brighter. And she let out a furious cry as more shining nails appeared around her.

* * *

Do not hope...

* * *

Those voices rose to a clamoring din all around it, as it weaved between blades from all different angles, to slash at her again.

“Enough of these tiresome games!” She almost roared, splaying her wings wide, and summoning four more of those translucent blades. “Show me what I wish to see, you bothersome little nuisance!”

The dull blades rained down upon it in quick succession, one after another. It ducked and slid and blinked around them, but the blades did not stop coming. It slid to the left, and just as it did—wrong move—more spikes from the ground. It tried to stop itself short, and caught one of the strange nails in the shoulder above its injured arm as it did, forcing—

—The Hollow Knight sat silently in its seat, staring at the wall in front of it. There was a quiet murmur all around from the other bugs at the table. It saw the bug across from it squirm uncomfortably in its periphery.

“What’s the matter?” the bug next to them leaned in to ask quietly.

“It’s nothing, I just… I don’t like sitting across from that… thing. Makes me uncomfortable.”

“Why? It’s not like it’s looking at you or anything.”

“Well that’s just it, it’s never looking at ANYTHING. It’s like it’s… intentionally ignoring me or something.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it can’t even think. You may as well be unnerved by a portrait, or a statue.”

“Yes, but it’s not a statue, is it? It’s a… thing… a real thing. A construct, or whatever it is.”

“It’s still only about as smart as a statue though.”

“Look, I just don’t like sitting across from it, okay? Makes me uneasy.”

“Fine, fine. Do you want to switch seats or something if it bothers you so much?”

“No, it’s fine I just-”

A door opened, and something bright entered the room. All the bugs at the table fell silent, as The Pale King entered.

“Everyone,” he addressed the room.

And for a moment, just for a moment, The Hollow Knight hesitated, to turn and look at hi—

—it to stagger backwards, pressing the hand that held its nail against the injured shoulder. 

“Now that’s more like it~” She growled hungrily “Tell me… What is it about our little Wyrm that troubles you so, small one?”

The Vessel tightened its grip around its nail, and stood up straight, brandishing the weapon towards her. A laugh like rolling thunder filled the air, as beams of light streaked towards it. More spikes burst forth, but it was ready now, right, left, forward, back, in, out. It weaved between spikes and nails and beams and orbs, until…

It looked up. She was above it now, two dull nails already in motion. She’d herded it exactly where she wanted it, and now…

Both of the strange nails sunk into its chest as—

—The Hollow Knight knelt with one knee on the ground in a dark stone room, illuminated by a single white light… the king, no doubt.

It recognized this room; it was the king’s workshop. But it did not recognize this memory. It was bowed before the king, one arm outstretched in a show of respect…

Respect… did it know respect? Perhaps it did. It seemed to know respect for its king. It’s creator. Respect was no meaningless word to it. Respect was something it knew.

Suddenly it felt a hand upon its mask, as The Pale King lifted its chin to look into its eyes.

“My Pure Vessel…” The Pale King began softly, his voice warm, and kind, and... strange… “truly, thou art my masterwork. My perfect creation.” he placed another hand on its face, and again the gesture was… strange… why did this feel so familiar to it…?

“I almost wish things could have been different, little one…” the king broke his gaze away from his creation for a moment. “Though you have no mind to think, no soul to call your own, but still…” His eyes met its once more, “But still I consider thee the son I never could have.” The king shut his eyes, and pressed his forehead against its own. The Vessel felt a stirring within itself. It knew respect for its king... For its father… for The Pale King was its father, after all. And this memory… so strangely familiar, and yet so very distant… was this…?

“I am truly sorry for what you must do, my child,” The king's voice was low and soft now, with a curious gentleness that seemed somehow to compel The Hollow Knight to lean its head back against its father’s… “And yet, it can be no other way.” 

The sorrow in its father’s voice goaded that stirring compulsion on. Yes, of course… next he’d say…

“Little one,” The king pulled back again, but did not release the Vessel from his grasp, staring deep into its empty eyes, “I pray that one day, you can forgive me for what I have done. For what I have made you do. My perfect creation. My masterwork. My Hollow Knight… My son… ”

Of course it knew respect—more than respect—for its king. Its creator. Its father. For the sorrow he felt… the pain he felt. This memory… This perfect memory… this roiling compulsion to wrap its arms around him… to comfort him, and make him know that there was nothing to forgive... it mustn’t listen. It couldn’t listen. It knew what came next… 

Do not say it. Do not say those words again. Father… I cannot bear to hear them. Please… I beg of you… 

* * *

Do not...

* * *

“I am so proud of you.”

I am so proud of you. The words echoed in its… in his mind. I am so proud of you. Of course he knew pride. All he ever wanted was to make his father proud. I am so proud of you. Of course he knew honor. It was an honor to be his pupil. To be his son. I am so proud of you. Of course he knew love. I am so proud of you. Of course he knew love… I am so proud of—

—He fell to his knees, shuddering in silent sobs. He’d tried. He’d tried so hard… he lifted his hands to clutch at his face, his nail forgotten. He looked to the ground, shaking uncontrollably. The ground was dark, and all around, it was quiet... Almost quiet… but all around he heard it… he heard those words… an endless murmuring reverberating from all around. A hand reached out to lift his chin, and there before him, his father stood.

“There now,” he said gently, wiping the black streaks from his child’s mask, “it’s alright. It’s almost over.” His father smiled kindly at him, and he felt a warmth inside of his chest.

Failure… I am… a failure…

“You failed, and that’s all right.” A clawed hand emerged from his robe, which he laid comfortingly upon the Vessel’s injured shoulder. “But failure must still be punished.” with a single swipe, it was done. The Vessel threw his head back in a silent scream, clutching at the place where his arm used to be.

“There there, little one,” the king placed a normal hand upon his other shoulder, pulling the clawed one back into his robes, “Now, it’s over.” he assured, still smiling softly as the Vessel swung his head to stare at the wound.

H-hurts…! Father… F-father… it hurts…

“I know it does little one, I know. Just look at me… Look at me and let it all slip away…”

He turned his head, to stare deep into his fathers eyes once more. Their soothing heat. Their calming glow. The pain faded as he stared deep into those bottomless orange eyes… he felt himself sinking into them… he felt himself slipping away…

…Father…

I love you.

* * *

...

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic here on AO3, so that's cool. Obviously, this isn't the first fic I've ever written by a LONG shot, but still, I'm semi new to writing in this particular format. So, leave any feedback in the comments if you have it, and also do the kudos thing or whatever if you want. Or don't, iunno, I'm not your dad.  
> Also, HUGE shoutout to the friends I had to ask to beta this for me, who know nothing about Hollow Knight. I'm sure they were extremely confused. Also shoutout out to the one friend I could ask who HAD played the game, who just so happened to beat The Radiance the same night I finished writing this, completely by chance. (You know who you are. Enjoy your Mossbag binge!) You guys are the best, thanks so much for your help.


End file.
